Why do girls crave the bad boys?
We read about them in YA (Young Adult) books a lot. Here is the storyline we see most:
The girl shuns the bad boy. She starts to fall for him as he makes an effort, some situation brings them together (it’s passionate sometimes lustful). Then as fate would have it they are pulled apart, bad guys and pride – the girl usually ends up broken hearted. The bad guy vibe gets pulled to the side for a minute, and he reveals the deep down nice guy he is, and girl forgives = ta da YA romance in a box. Gender bend it, and you have the ‘bad girl’ vibe.
I really thought about the ‘bad boy’ trait writing my YA book Magick. I’m one of those that like to buck the system, a rebel on paper anyway.
On the surface this is what you typically see:
- The guy who effortlessly gets the girl.
- The guy, girls fantasize about and will practically do anything for.
- The guy who breaks the girl’s heart, but has her missing him for years to come, if they don’t get back together.
Can girls sound any more like a zombie doormat for the bad guy? Ugh. So why do we like the bad boys? I’m not speaking to the violent and dangerous bad boy – that is something entirely different. Let me break it down for you.
Confidence, in knowing who and what they are! It doesn’t come from money, clothes, gadgets, cars, etc… This confidence originates internally and it’s powerful, girls/people are drawn to it like a magnet. This isn’t the jerk gene although some indeed confuse the two.
Here are 10 ‘bad boy’ traits:
- They don’t ask permission from themselves.
Meaning they don’t wait around for the go ahead. They want something they go for it.
- They are purposeful.
Nothing is by accident. If he wants to hold your hand, he’ll reach for it. They think then execute quickly.
- They are not scared of what might happen.
If they get rejected they get rejected, but if they get what they want; it outweighs any rejection (i.e., a kiss, a touch, getting a number).
- They don’t trend to styles, it’s what suits their personality.
Sure bad guys are typically good looking, but it’s not because they are wearing certain name brand clothing, it’s because they dress how they want. They wear the clothes the clothes don’t wear them.
- They are not victims.
They don’t feel sorry for themselves when unfortunate things happen. They deal and overcome. No pity parties at the bad boy’s house.
- They are brutally honest, sometimes to a fault.
The truth might upset you, (see #3) but they would rather you be pissed than not have the balls, to tell the truth.
- They are passionate.
They don’t do anything halfway, they are focused on whatever they are doing that includes their attraction to others.
- They bend the rules.
Being told what to do and how to do it, is not their way. They will push the boundaries (see #1-2), and labels don’t mean much to them.
- They don’t prioritize women in general
They only want to be part of your life, not all of it. There is other stuff that is important to them too.
- They enjoy life.
They know how to have fun and take in the moments. In the end, it’s only the moments we have in life anyway.
So, in general, this is why girls gravitate toward the ‘bad boy’ although that image is really just a confident ‘real’ man and/or person. So nice guys, don’t throw me to the curb on this blog because essentially these are your traits – it’s a label (see #8).
The characters in my book Magick, especially Cross and Emily, ooze these traits from top to bottom. A few of my characters are evolving in these traits such as Willow. I think this applies to most people as we develop and grow.
Tell me what additional character trait should belong above? Let’s throw that ‘bad boy’ label out the window as we drive through my neighborhood. What traits do you like the best and what attracts you? Do you emulate those traits?